When you are in a relationship, your conversations play a pivotal role in establishing the required understanding, helping you connect with your special someone, and better understand how you both feel as a couple. If you are missing that required connection and happiness with your spouse, not going deeper into the conversation could be one of the biggest reasons why you are not connecting the way you want.
Deeper and more intimate conversations are important when it comes to making a relationship strong and successful.
Some tips for a deeper and more intimate conversation
Check out these tips and it will surely work wonders for your relationship.
Choosing the wrong time for the right (deeper) conversation can create all the mess, and you don’t really want this to happen. Remember, deeper conversations need time and space, the right environment so that you both can give sufficient time to one another and understand things better.
For instance, your wife may not be interested to have a conversation when she’s trying to get your baby to bed, and your baby is already crying out loud in her ears. It’s a basic understanding and a simple question- Is it the right time to talk?
Be the one who sets the tone
So, you’re the one who is trying to make the conversation more intimate, so you should be the one who should set the tone, let the other person know that you are interested to talk more than just how are you doing and how was your day.
You can do it by talking about yourself more deeply, a little more than usual. When asked how are you doing, don’t just finish it in one sentence saying- I’m doing good.
Go deeper, and that’s what you want. Tell the other person how you are actually doing- I’ve been feeling low a bit since last night as I haven’t met my mom for such a long time due to work. Hoping to meet her soon, else everything is as usual.
It’s about self-disclosure, revealing more about yourself and your feelings. On the other hand, you need to make the other person realize that you are completely ready to hear what they have to say.
You’ll love to read: Social penetration theory: Getting close to people you care about
Stir deeper with detailed questions
Think and work as a therapist. Go into the details, “I’m not feeling well”- Why? What went wrong? What are the thoughts going in your mind?
Here, what you are trying to do ultimately is understand the other person’s psychology, you’re digging deeper with the help of detailed questions. Also, you are trying to establish an emotional connection and let the other person know that you care about how they feel and you’re there with them to make them feel good.
Allow some space between emotions
And, when you feel you have successfully taken the conversation to the emotional level you wanted to, acknowledge those emotions, know when you need to speak, know when you need to take a pause, and know when you need to be silent.
Know that your intention here is to repair and fix, you want to make things better by saying the right things at the right time. Make sure that you give each other room to understand and absorb what has been said.
Focus on them and don’t rush
Don’t read the thoughts and saying written on the wall when you are sitting with the other person in a coffee shop and trying to take the conversation deeper. Your body language speaks louder than your words. Focus on the other person and look into their eyes (not like a hungry wolf, know when to blink) when you are talking.
Slow down the conversation, provide the other person with the attention and room expected from you.
Be a risk-taker
Don’t forget your ultimate goal- a deeper and more intimate conversation.
When you are trying to make the conversation more and more intimate, you don’t really need to disclose something big, it doesn’t need to be a dark secret you have never told anyone, it just needs to be something that is… difficult for you to speak and it should get the job done.
Summing it up
Intimate conversations provide you with the opportunity to understand the other person on a deeper and emotional level, it glues people together. Talking about your anxieties, your fears, your intimacies, your desires, and your deeper self will help you connect better, and you’ll be able to foster a better relationship with your special someone.